Why people fail on their fitness journey (and how to reach your fitness goals)

There are various reasons we start our fitness journey. Sometimes it’s our New Year’s resolution. Sometimes our clothes are magically shrinking and we want to prevent the need to buy a larger size. Other times we’re not so happy when looking in the mirror. And if we’re athletes, we may need to improve our fitness to get better results in our sports. 

Now fast forward, we sign up with a gym, maybe hire a personal trainer and continue for a few weeks. Then we either don’t see the results we wanted, don’t have the time anymore, we get sick/injured, or there’s too much work. The motivation is melting and eventually, we stop. 

We set unrealistic goals, focus on the outcome and get frustrated because the reward is only after we achieve the ultimate goal. We perceive the journey that leads to the goal as a sacrifice. And I think you already know it, but this is not fun at all. Every week we get more stressed and unhappy, and fall back into bad habits just to feel better for a few seconds. Then the shame comes back. 

But don’t worry, there’s a different approach that I encourage you to take. Treat fitness like a journey. And I want you to start slowly, to take one step at a time. Find something that you’d like to try and don’t just dive straight in. Start with the minimum effort and an open mind. Allow yourself the space to learn.

No matter the discipline, fitness requires skill. 

Let me give you a few examples:

• Calisthenics and gymnastics demand great strength, but also skill (neuromuscular connection). There’s a technique in which you perform an exercise and when you get it, it feels right, it feels good, and it looks beautiful. You start with a push up, advance to tuck planche and full planche (actually there are many more checkpoints on the way)

• Dancing - you learn basic steps, but coordinating it takes time. Your first steps are clumsy, and when you do it to the music you’re completely lost. Only after some time you start to feel comfortable and look good and then you’re ready for the music. Once you look at your instructors you can’t help but wonder how it is even possible to move with such grace. They say “practice”.

• Powerlifting - the weight you can lift is not just about how strong you are. There’s a technique to each of the exercises. If you do a bench press with your chest closed you move your shoulder more than your chest, not using the benefit of strong pecs (which are naturally stronger than your shoulders). Change the technique and you can lift much more. Not only that, with correct technique you also avoid injuring yourself. 

I believe the reason so many people do sports is because of the skill, or more precisely, how it feels when you perform the skill correctly. Then progress is just additional gratification, and a good-looking body is a side effect of the work being done. We like to do the same things if we do them with care, and as we get better it only gets more fun.

We naturally love to move, but after years of sitting down, we start struggling with movement. Back pain, knee pain, lack of mobility and tightness - and we try to blame it on getting older. Then when we start to work out at first it may feel like a nightmare. But we all can start to feel better.

There’s one big mistake that people make when they start.

If you start because you don’t like where you’re at now, and you throw yourself desperately into working hard straight away, because you want quick results most likely chance you’re gonna fail. It’s because desperation is not a good fuel, it works for some time and then leaves you burned out and devastated. Also, your body is not ready for a fast change, so instead of progressing, you get injured or sick (because it’s just too much). Trust me, I’ve been there. I hated my body, I hated being unfit, and I wanted to work hard to change it. 

Each time I tried this approach I failed. 

But then as I was doing rehab exercises I realised I liked the feeling of it. It felt good, not painful. With time I saw progress, and then suddenly I was able to do things I had never been able to do before. I was happy with my skills getting better, and my body started looking better as well. More than this I was looking forward to my training instead of being afraid of it. 

I know it’s scary to try it because it seems that if we don’t sacrifice, we’re not going to get results. But starting slow allows you to fall in love with training. Feeling good after training will make you want more (don’t get me wrong, you’re going to get a bit sore. But don’t worry, if you keep it consistent the soreness is barely there. The first time trying a new activity is always the worst, then your body gets used to it).

So how should I start to succeed? 

So here's how you can reach your fitness goals. Start slow, maybe just one class a week. When you go to the class go with no expectations, just follow, and see how your body feels. Be curious. Does it feel good afterwards? Have you learnt something new? 

Even if we workout we tend to ignore how our body feels. We may fall into the trap of treating our body like a slave, expecting it to get the work done without thinking how it feels.

This leads to injuries. But if you learn to listen to your body, you not only will find happiness in movement, but also unlock skills you hadn’t even expected you’d be able to do.

There’s one more good thing about this approach. It will help you mentally. Ancient Greeks knew that body and mind are connected and that they are equally important. Your body influences your mind and vice versa. Stress makes you tense (this way you’re prepared to fight, fly or freeze) and it’s a mechanism that was meant to protect us, but only if it’s for a short term. If you’re stressed long-term it will make you tight and ill. It’s often easier to start with the body. If you start stretching to release the tension you’ll also feel less stressed. I’ll describe how body and mind can influence each other and how it affects your training in another blog post. For now, I just want you to know this: 

your fitness journey is very likely to improve your mental health (if done with a good approach)

My job here is to lead you the way and unlock your full potential. I don’t just give you a plan and teach you the technique. I also help you find joy along your journey. If after training with me at some point you decide that you want to leave to train on your own, because you feel ready, I’m happy. It means I succeeded in my mission. It may take a few years, or a few weeks. Everyone is different and we have different starting points. But we all can reach this level. 

Best of luck on your journey and don’t forget to enjoy it!

Nathaniel